maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
