Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
