Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
