Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The power of my boobs compel you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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