every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize