There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
