you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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