I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
