4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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