Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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