Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There's always time for handjobs
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
