I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
