Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
