just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
