HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
