There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Just cropdusted the office
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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