i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
