You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
