my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
