Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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