He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
