He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
