omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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