the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
