I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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