We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
