I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
