Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
