how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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