I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
