Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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