matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize