This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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