just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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