Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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