nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
