Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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