They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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