Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
