You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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