I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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