Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
