2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I party with great urgency now.
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