I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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