Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
