How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
