I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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