you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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