My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize