Duck Duck Cougar?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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