dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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