I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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