he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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