i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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