best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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