Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
