It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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