i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
