You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
