East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
