You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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