does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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