Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
