Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.