You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins