Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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