my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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