Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
