All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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