Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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