Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize