i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
