dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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