well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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